DRIVEL, SUBSTANCE, and then some
DRIVEL, SUBSTANCE, and then some
DRIVEL?
When bloggers blog about blogs, or the topic of blogging, it can get very tedious. Taking tedium to a tangential sphere, I shall now proceed to blog about my own blog. Some of you know that there are a few blogs, but the specific topic will be, for the moment, this blog. Welcome yet again to DeanLand, this time from within the cranial reaches thereof.
Hereís the core issue: it strikes me that of late I have been writing more drivel than not.
As fate would have it, life has been pretty interesting recently. I am involved in a number of projects, some pro bono, some developmental, some creative. This, thankfully, after a long lull, a period during which it seemed that all I did was dealmaking. Yes, marketing is a talent and a skill, but doing the same sort of dealmaking, negotiating, contract sort of work, over and over, gets old.
This unsettled feeling manifested itself in a greater proportion of blog entries of lighter tone. Humor, politics, memories of Summer rainstorms, to some degree, DeanLand was more a personal reverie or faux-journal than the usual fare of this blog.
Reviewing it in my head ñas opposed to actually rereading the recent entriesó it began to feel as though there more drivel, less substance. Some posts, albeit ones that may seem in keeping with the tone of levity, or ones of a more serious nature, but the sort of entry one might expect around here, were actually the result of a feeling of a need to post. Not so much writing that came from thought or consideration before being composed in a file and then posted, as much as entries to keep the blog fresh. Like preventing mildew, in some blog-analogous sense.
So there you have it. Some entries just seem like drivel.
This blog continues to receive page-views from links or referrals that point to subjects of prior entries. The September 11th attacks, last Summerís black out, the subject of family estrangements, and various other more serious entries show up repeatedly in the referrer logs. So the question is this: will my mood and incentive morph the content of DeanLand back toward more substance?
Only time will tell.
SUBSTANCE
It has felt, for the past six, eight, or perhaps more months, like time for a change. And then comes the key question, an odd one for someone my age: what do I want to do when I grow up? Or, better stated, what shall I do for a living . . . in order to provide the basic necessities: child support, food, clothing, shelter, health care, Yankee tickets, cat food and litter, satellite TV for the YES Network, and broadband access.
Iíve had a few careers, and it feels like maybe it is time for a new one. Media related, for sure, also communications/telecom/internet, and streaming/distribution/delivery-related, as well. Some effort has gone into figuring out just how to determine how to synthesize all of these areas into a focus in which my skills would be useful and from which I would attain a sense of joy, gratification, and a decent living.
Or, in cool-hip-contemporary netspeak, how to monetize my core competencies in a growth-related proactive, fungible platform to create strategic value, and to serve connectivity and media initiatives in a socio-techno context? Oh, what the hell, letís add this as a back-end tag: Öto the benefit of end-user and development communities and in the new paradigm?
And, gee whiz, yes, it seems that apparently I am discovering it.
The process has been neither simple nor easy. Recognizing the need for change was Step One. That emerged after a period of discontent. Then came a cycle of contemplation, consideration, review, examination, and introspect. The duration of some aspects of this process was discomfiting, as it reinforced a sense of discontent.
From discontent grew the clear sensation of need. Some might call it cleansing, but that seems to Pollyanna-ish, to new-age oh wow feel the light. Being more pragmatic and given to analytical and practical analysis, the process moved toward clarity. A change was necessary to turn around discontent. That paved the way for Step Two.
At first the concept of change was difficult. Would change require wresting myself from the current situation? And where to look for change, what would change entail? And how to go about making a change?
A major turning point, part of the Step Two facet of the process, was fleshing out the feeling and strategies of the very process of change.
This is where friends and fellowship come into play. Plus a smidgen of personal bravery.
But first some background.
PROVIDENCE AND FORTUITOUSNESS
About a year ago I sat with a piece of blank paper and decided to write down where it seemed technology, communications, and social order might converge. And where I might position myself in all of this.
It turned out that one piece of paper was not enough. The first piece of paper, which still sits on my desk, has but two words on it. Written with a Series 30000 black Sharpie Fine Point Permanent Marker, it reads: WIRELESS BROADBAND.
Other pieces of paper have outlines, notes, sentences and fragments, lists, and sometimes even a paragraph or two. Those paragraphs are a little bit of expansion on ideas, topics, forecasts, matching of media and devices, pairing or grouping technologies with functions. Imagineering, predictive conjecture, objective solution ideating.
This began to take a certain order. Experience, skills, intuition and desire became the motivating forces, along with a research analystís need to quantify, qualify, and add control group in the conceptualizing of these various disciplines.
This was exciting.
But reality was also ever-present. Still I plodded way in the dealmaking, the interaction with various professionals from the financial and technical sides of my business endeavors, as well as with a horde of wannabe industrialists or execs, most of whom generally prove to be pettifoggers.
A venture partner and I, in a series of troubled transactions, discovered that a trusted associate of ours was in fact a liar and a thief. This was disheartening, and costly. While for a certain period of time it took the wind out of my sails, it also managed to energize and embolden me. As a serial entrepreneur one learns to be thick skinned.
I requested the counsel of a select few trusted friends. This was both the most difficult move to make, and has proven the most rewarding.
Suggestions were offered. Introductions were made. Ideas were bandied about, discussions ensued. Some exercises and possibilities proved to be detours on the path, yet each had the quality of a worthy procedural element. Clarity became more of a light at the end of the tunnel than the great unknown or unachievable goal it had seemed, earlier in the process.
There was also support and love from those very close to me. Recently one such person asked another to get in touch with me, just to brainstorm and to provide caring, friendly, compassionate, collegial discussion and camaraderie. From that discussion (which lasted many hours and truly tested some cell phone battery duration claims) action plans have arisen.
GOOD BEGETS GOOD
Something positive was occurring. An energy was taking hold. Plans and passion seemed to have taken stake. Chance meetings and social interactions have also given way to potential areas of interest and activity. Opportunity and good fortune are coming out of the woodwork, on what seems like a daily basis.
Meanwhile another something good was developing. In addition to all those pieces of paper and a somewhat scientific approach to ìwhat shall I do,î there was something else. This, too has been bubbling under the surface for quite some time.
This year the election and politics in general arouse more passion and concern than Iíve felt since the late 1960s and early 1970s. Social issues, as well as local and global matters are top of mind, not back-burnered or comfortably ignored with some assurance that those in positions of power and influence are doing the right thing.
The First Amendment is under attack. The Kyoto accords and other environmental initiatives and improvements have been dismantled. The economy is in the crapper.
The US President was appointed not elected; he lost the popular vote and the basis for the Supreme Court appointment was scurrilous, perverse, disingenuous. Scammy, seamy local yokel patronage politics is one thing, the appointment of the US President is another.
Now we are at war, having attacked and occupied a country that was neither a legitimate threat nor was it a player or major funder of the September 11th attacks. And this is a war of vanity and choice, in which countless American and coalition soldiers are dead, more wounded, and an unknown number of Iraqis dead, wounded, tortured, or simply subjected to the ravages of war
A political side of me has been reawakened.
As has something else: a desire to have some impact on the greater good. I generally distrust (and am quick to dismiss) do-gooders as Pollyannas, or blabbermouths more interested in themselves or their ego than the greater good. Of course there are those who are really and truly committed to making a positive impact and doing things for the greater good . . . but they seemed few and far between.
I will take my own advice and not call much attention to these efforts. In addition to some political activism of late, good fortune has touched me and enabled me to do some good things on a volunteer level. This is very rewarding. Further, my media, communications, research and marketing skills are being put to use. Add to this the shared energy of the others involved and interacting in these efforts, and it becomes exponentially more gratifying.
Gee, all I will need in due course will be a super-duper hard drive in a new and improved laptop . . . so in whatever spare time might exist (probably in the MLB off season, letís be reasonable here!) effort can be put toward getting further along on those works of fiction that are in various states of composition.
All in due course.
