TRIPPIN' AT THE END OF THE YEAR
As 2001 meanders to the end of the final month of the year, it was time once again for my annual December Family Excursion.
This year there were some changes from the usual course of events. I flew to NC to spend a day there with the kids at their place (they live there, with the ex-wife [1]). That day included shoe shopping, jeans shopping, shirt shopping, and anything else the ex could figure my pocket was good for. But that's not too much of a complaint, really. These are my children, and they do need to wear clothes.
The next day I rented a car, and the kids and I drove down to Florida to visit their grandparents in Snowbirdland [2]. Driving from North Carolina to Delray should, according to the various map and directions sites, be an 11 hour trip. For us it was more like 24 hours, including a few stops to take a nap, an overnight at a motel, and dinner at the Applebee's in Brunswick, GA [3]. Plus some stops here and there, just to stop for any number of reasons.
We found a Wal-Mart in the middle of nowhere, GA. The southern accents there were so thick that even my kids (who have lived in NC for five-plus years) had trouble understanding what was being said. Fortunately, since almost all Wal-Marts are alike, we had no trouble finding the goods we sought.
Truths of the road:
ï No matter where you are, there are at least two radio stations within earshot: one that plays 'nsync [4], and one that plays the most annoying country music [5] imaginable.
ï The English language as we once knew it is no longer in use. There is no more need to learn grammar. Verb conjugation is no longer a necessary discipline.
ï There are no more gas-station attendants once one is south of Maryland. There are cashiers to accept payment for the gas one self-pumps. The aforementioned cashiers listen to either country music or 'nsync, and cannot conjugate verbs. They can grunt. If they speak, at all.
ï Osama bin Laden is the most hated person in America. Anti-Osama graffiti, billboards, and such are in abundance as one drives from North Carolina down to Florida.
ï The posted speed limit is merely a suggestion. A speeding ticket is an unlikely event when each and every car is doing well more than 10 mph above the "suggested" posted lawful limit.
That Applebee's in Brunswick was a pretty nice place. We ate there, thinking it would be the least-dangerous, least-disgusting quick place to stop along the way. To my way of thinking, one can get a reliably mediocre meal at an Applebee's. Not bad food, just not particularly good food. Our other choices were the ubiquitous fast-food joints, or other chains along the lines of Cracker Barrel, Bob Evans, Shoney's, and the like. So spotting an Applebee's was a good omen.
While we were there my eagle-eyed daughter spotted $18 on the floor at the table across from us. The couple that had been sitting there had just left. We showed this to the waitress, who happily informed us that the couple had left a miserable tip, and this served them right! She was somewhat of a hoot, and we had a pretty nice time (along with a decent meal) at that Applebee's.
On the way back we stopped there again. Same waitress, who informed us that the $$ had not been claimed yet, and after two weeks passed from the date of finding the $18, it would be hers to keep. Good for her! She got a bigger than intended tip from that table, after all.
This time there was more entertainment at Applebee's. The couple at the table next to us began to have an argument. Use of the cell phone was a heated issue. The woman announced that she had it, she'd use it, and that's that! Harumph! Off she, went, into the Ladies Room, to use the cell phone. And off right after went her date -possibly her boyfriend, they sure argued in the manner of a couple-- into the Ladies Room, to get the phone from her.
Yep. There he went. Right into the Ladies Room.
We heard hollering. Screaming. A ruckus.
My daughter, who could see the action from her vantage point, observed the two of them comne out of the Ladies Room, and get asked to leave the establishment. First, though, they had to pay their bill. Our entertaining waitress told us this was small stuff. Apparently couples have been known to have major confrontations at the Brunswick Applebee's. And catfights over boyfriends, too. What a place!
Aside from the couple, though, the clientele at this Applebee's seemed rather Northern in composition. Mostly they were travelers, our waitress informed us, coming off I95 for a decent meal.
Delray remains Delray. One gated community after another, a zillion oldsters living the good life, the twilight years, the retirement lifestyle.
The kids enjoyed going to Wilt Chamberlain's (a restaurant and arcade that has little to do with the late basketball star, except to use his name in an establishment that is part restaurant, part sports bar, and part kiddie arcade), eating, playing the games, and winning tickets redeemable for prizes. They also enjoyed the annual trip to Boomer's, another arcade sort of place. You know you are in Boomer's when all you can hear is the cacophony, but not the person next to you.
As we do every year, I joined the kids in a game of Laser Tag. Apparently either my skill level had dropped, or my laser gun was out of order. My son's gun was definitely out of order. My daugghter, however, was the BIG WINNER, with the highest points among the assemblage of about 15 players.
Quite the surprize, and sadly, I cannot provide a link to Boomer's Family Recreation Center (an Australian company). Either there isn't one, or the site name is something other than Boomer's. A google search [6] turns up many blurbs and items, but no company site.
The three generations of our family ate at Pastis [7], a lovely French restaurant in nearby Boca Raton. Adding to my enjoyment of the food and ambience was a SUGAR-FREE APPLE PIE dor dessert. What a pleasure for a Diabetic, a good restaurant with a dessert I could actually eat! And, to top it all off, the apple pie was scrumptious.
We saw two films while in Florida.
ï Ocean's Eleven. A boring story, prettily filmed. George Clooney does a little more than phone in the lead role. Brad Pitt does a serviceable job of a mediocre role, and even manages to look as though he is trying to add some dimension to a less-then-one-dimensional concept of a character role. Carl Reiner nearely steals the whole movie. Julia Roberts manages to look like shit, although she is supposed to be playing the role of the beautiful woman. A waste of time, but well worth it if you see it at the dollar movie where they show the hits of three months ago, or if you should watch it as an HBO movie, just part of the monthly cable fee.
My daughter did point out that all the guys in the film were pleasant eye candy. And she enjoyed a scene in which a variety of teen movie and teen tv series stars appeared...she even told us who each one was, what they acted in, and so on.
ï Lord of The Rings. We all agreed, this was one enormously shitty film. Too long, too much emphasis on violence and endless fight scenes. Fans of the book who appreciate the subtext and the symbolism of J.R.R. Tolkienís writing will be disappointed by the film. A big cinematic brouhaha.
The beginning was interesting, and there was some hope for a good film to be seen. The initial look at the Hobbits and their lives in the Shire were pleasant to watch, even if a little overly spectacular and generally overdone. Overdone, as in a harbinger of things to come.
Once Frodo leaves, the movie becomes an exercise in fight scenes and elongated, nonsensical suggestions of depth. Liv Tyler offers nothing in her very brief appearance as Arwin. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn is almost the lead by accident in the movie, as he seems to have the most screen time in the fight scenes. Even a capable actor like Mortensen can't make the scenes he's in seem like they are really occurring.
What a bad job, all colorful, lush and big...and completely off kilter with they way Tolkein wrote the book(s) on which the film is based. And to think, there are two sequels to go yet in the series. A waste of much time and money.
I mean the film audience's, not the producers'.
Don't even see it at the dollar movie, or waste so much time watching it when it comes to cable. Read the book(s) instead.
On the flights to and from NC there was the usual and expected high degree of security. I was surprised to see some people arguing with the security people, giving them a difficult time. One woman at the Charlotte airport yelled at the gate agent and the security man. "Why me? Three flights and you people always choose me to give the extra frisk and check. I am sick of this! This has got to stop!" I was hoping they would shoot her, as the camouflage-outfitted National Guardsmen came running over, AK-47s at the ready.
What audacity this woman exhibited! The gate agent (a very patient woman) and the security man (a very exasperated guy) took it all in stride. A female security agent offered to take over, but the man doing the wand wave just asked her to stand by while he completed the job.
I was hoping they'd throw the woman off the flight, subject her to a strip search, and keep in her in jail for a night or two.
These searches are for the safety of all of the passengers. The fact that this woman felt inconvenienced by being picked should well be overshadowed by the bigger picture. She didn't seem overtly suspicious, but who knows what causes three flights in a row to feel the need to check her out a second time? The red flag seems to get waved whenever she boards a plane.
She surely took that flight out of the original "leave the gate" schedule, spending all that time giving the gate agent and the security man all that grief.
I had arrived plenty early, anticipating a slow security process at the very busy and crowded Charlotte airport. Fortunately for me, this woman was on an earlier flight, leaving from the same gate my flight was scheduled for, nearly an hour after hers was scheduled to depart.
Obviously the skies would operate more efficielntly if she were forbidden to ever fly again. Since they didn't shoot her, or even throw her off the flight, maybe she can be banned from air travel for the next ten or twenty years.
The flight back to New York was without incident. Susan met me at the airport (how nice!) and we got back to my suburban abode, safe and sound.
It was nice to be with the kids again, and we had great fun on the drives to and from Florida. The drive back was different from the drive South. We went all the way through, with just one major stop (dinner at Applebee's), one half-hour nap, and a few pit stops.
They are teenagers now, so how much longer we will take these annual end-year Florida vacations is unknown. Their grandparents are aging, and the future is less certain than ever. My mother expressed much concern over the number of deaths among relatives, and their friends and acquaintances over the past year.
Time goes on, it cannot be stopped (except on that Twilight Zone episode [8]), and certain changes and events that once seemed far off are suddenly realities to be considered, or possibly to be anticipated or to be dealt with.
Mortality becomes a reality.
Soon the kids will be in college. We tend to freeze people at the age at which we last saw them, or last knew them. Two of my kids' counsins (on their mother's side) are in college already. I still think of them as toddlers, or as little kids.
Some friends of mine have grandchildren!
Year's end gets me thinking along these lines.
See you in 2002!
