Prevent Disease!
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a
new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted
through dangerous and high-risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect
him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for
the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected
include: antisocial personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with
messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to
incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia,
inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by
misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography
and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical
all-or-nothing behavior.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease
originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.
